Rođenje deteta nije nimalo lako, naročito za majke. One doje, ne spavaju noćima i pred njima su mnogobrojni zahtevi koje sa sobom nosi dolazak na svet jednog malenog bića. Ako tome dodamo i da se neke suočavaju sa postporođajnom depresijom, jasno je da im je podrška partnera u tim trenucima i više nego potrebna.

Ted Đonder (29), otac troje dece iz Čikaga je na Fejsbuku objavio pismo i savet svim očevima kako treba da postupaju kada im supruga na svet donese bebu.

Objava je ubrzo skupila više od 64.000 lajkova, te se masovno deli na društvenim mrežavama.

- Sada kad imam 29 godina i troje dece sa suprugom Franciskom koja ih je nosila i rodila kao 'profesionalac, evo što bih rekao 24-godišnjem sebi o tome kakva podrška treba partnerki okom faze u kojoj postajemo roditelji:

- Supruga je nosila dete u stomaku devet meseci. Vi ga nosite na stomaku kad god se pruži šansa. Ne samo da joj pomažete da se oporavi, nego vas povezuje sa detetom više nego što možete da zamislite

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My “what I’d tell my childless 24 year old self about how to be a supportive pre/postnatal partner” post now has millions of likes/shares, and thousands of open-hearted strangers have messaged with reactions/questions.🙏 .⠀ They're primarily from new parents on the same few themes, so here are the biggest, along with advice that I'd give to my childless 24yo self: .⠀ 1. Gratitude from women saying the post helped them initiate a crucial conversation about gender roles with their partner, without making him feel attacked.😇 .⠀ Don't leave it to your wife to initiate this conversation; open the space to explore what role each of you wants to play as you become parents. Relieve the topic's tension so it doesn't explode on you later.👌🏻 .⠀ Push each other to think about a “family vision”, considering both of your desires equally, then work backward from that shared vision to plan how you'll manifest that reality together.🙌🏻 .⠀ 2. Shock at the idea that I had kids in my 20s - lots of people called it crazy and even “dumb.”🤨⠀ .⠀ Don’t listen to people who say you’re ruining your life by having kids young.🖕🏻 .⠀ What matters more than age:⠀ .⠀ You and your partners' shared belief that you can grow stronger together through challenges.👫 .⠀ Your conviction that you want to bring life into this world and give more love than you’ve ever given before.👶🏼 .⠀ Your courage to ask family, friends, colleagues, and strangers for support.🧞‍♂️ .⠀ Your willingness to check your ego and adapt into who the world needs you to be. ✨ .⠀ With these you’ll always find a way to pay for rent and diapers, get another degree, find your next step.🐺 .⠀ And btw, being a young parent is awesome!✊ .⠀ 3. Many women shared that their lives were ruined by weak and selfish men, yet I also saw so many women tag their partners to say "thank you for being my rock!" I often hear people talk about "the lack of good men out there" but seeing so many dads being publicly acknowledged by their appreciative partners made me feel more optimistic about the state and future of masculine culture.🧐 .⠀ Advice: Be the kind of man that improves the reputation of men.😎 ⠀⠀ Continued below! Tag a friend 🤙🏻👇🏻

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- Supruga doji. Iako je to za nju divno i ispunjavajuće, takođe je i iscrpljujuće. Zato menjajte svaku pelenu koju možete. Od pelene broj jedan pa nadalje. Brzo ćete se izboriti sa 'gađenjem. Sprečićete neravnotežu i ogorčenost u vezi. Zapravo, kada se sve prijateljice vaše supruge budu žalile na to koliko su im muževi odsutni, te ih ne podržavaju, vaša supruga će se vama hvaliti.

- Napravite joj svakog jutra beskofeinsku kafu. Čak i ako je ostavi i zaboravi jer zaspi dok vi radite ili jednog dana vodite decu u školu. Ona je bila budna celu noć i hranila bebu. Zato joj omogućite da započne dan na najlepši mogući način.

- Recite joj da je lepa. To nemojte da zaboravite u trenucima kada se oseća loše u svom telu. Podsetite je na vreme kada je postigla svoje ciljeve. Podsetite je da je superheroj. Ona je pomerila sve organe u svom telu i dobila 20 kilograma više kako bi vam rodila dete koje će biti vaš najlepši poklon u životu. Pomozite joj da prebrodi probleme sa slikom o svom telu i da bude usredsređena na pozitivan cilj, jednog dana.

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My wife @franzilovesmonday is such a badass. 39 weeks pregnant 🤰 and still getting in her 10,000 steps per day, crushing yoga and kettlebell flows, working practically full time for two clients, and being an awesome mom. - She does it all because she loves it all, and she is 100% shamelessly herself. - Which also means she isn’t afraid to say when she is having a hard day, or that it is all too much and she needs help. - Her willingness to be herself and ask for help has invited me to rise up as a more supportive partner and engaged dad than I could have imagined myself becoming when we decided to build our family. I was still 24 and she was 27, we didn’t have any friends our age with kids, and didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. We just had a vision for our family and knew we were going to be on this life journey together. So we leapt into it. But I was scared to the bone that I’d be an inadequate family man. - Her belief in me is a huge part of the reason I’ve proven that fear wrong for myself. - And that’s how we meet each other every single day. With realness about our human flaws and struggles, overflowing unrelenting love, the daily decision to recommit, and the easy choice to believe in each other even more than we did the previous day.

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- Hormoni luduju pre i nakon rođenja. Ne čini se svaki dan kao ona žena od pre i ponekad će da izgovori reči koje bi inače rekla samo ako je mamurna ili da je na kofeinu i steroidima ceo dan. Setite se da je vaš zadatak da budete njeno utočište dok prolazi kroz to, zato budite čvrsti dok joj je jezik oštriji nego inače. Uskoro će se 'vratiti' i biti zahvalna što ste je čuvali dok ona nije mogla. Biće sretna što ste je poštedeli nekih stvari i preuzeli na sebe njene probleme.'